


I'll tell you my sins (if you'll tell me yours)

by sleepypercy



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Catholic Guilt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21785317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepypercy/pseuds/sleepypercy
Summary: When Jared gets caught caught kissing another boy at school, his father decides to send him to weekly counseling sessions with their priest to cure Jared of his impure thoughts. Jared's not sure he wants his repent of his sins... especially after he meets the gorgeous priest, Father Ackles.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 28
Kudos: 142





	I'll tell you my sins (if you'll tell me yours)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thisroadsofar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisroadsofar/gifts).



> Warning: This is my attempt to use Catholicism for porn, although I don't know nearly enough about it. Many thanks to Dana for letting me pick her brain about the Catholic church (although I probably still got many things wrong, lol).

✫✶✫✶✫✶✫✶

The chapel is cool and quiet. Head bowed down, Jared feigns contrition. He can feel heat gathering in his fingertips, the need to press them against something hard and warm. He peeks up through his bangs, eyes darting around until he finds what he’s looking for: Father Ackles. The man doesn’t look up, doesn’t acknowledge that he’s seen Jared, but Jared is certain that his presence hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Quietly, Jared stands up and heads into a back hallway without so much as glancing Jensen’s way. He waits. Two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes. Finally, Father Ackles turns the corner, frown on his face as his eyes lock on Jared’s.

“This is a house of prayer,” the priest says, quiet accusation in his tone. “If you’re not here to worship, you should leave.”

Jared smirks and holds Jensen’s gaze while slowly reaching his arms up in a feigned stretch. The movement brings his shirt up, a peek of belly just above a strip of cream silk with pink polka dots, and Jared knows he’s caught the man’s attention.

“I _am_ here to worship,” Jared says, daring to let his voice purr. It’s a careful line he treads. Too far one way and Jensen will run. Too far the other and Jensen will go back to saving Jared’s soul. Jared pauses, heart caught in his throat, hoping that he’s doing this right, that he doesn’t look ridiculous. But too much is riding for Jared to show weakness, so he tilts his chin up and parts his lips slowly, a tiny peek of tongue.

“Jared.” There’s a tiny catch in Jensen’s voice that Jared clings to. The man shakes his head slightly, eyes darting down to glance at Jared’s mouth like he can’t help himself. “What do you want?”

“I want you to kiss me,” Jared answers just before the priest’s mouth covers his. Jared whimpers, immediately overwhelmed by the way Jensen’s hands slide everywhere, finding every warm soft spot tucked in Jared’s skin. Father Ackles has always been this way: distant and standoffish right up until the moment he breaks and throws his whole self in.

“I want you so fucking much,” Jensen groans, mouthing up Jared’s neck. “ _Want_ you, sweetheart. Come with me.”

They stumble into the church bathroom which Father Ackles quickly locks behind them. Grabbing onto Jared’s hips, Jensen props him up on the counter, plucking off shirt, pants, shoes. Leaving Jared in nothing but the panties that he knows drive Father Ackles crazy. The man of God has way more kinks than the congregation he stands before could ever suspect.

Jensen’s mouth is wet and hot as he sucks and laves through the cotton. Jared’s head thunks back against the mirror and he has to put his fist in his mouth to keep quiet. Instead of pulling the panties down, Jensen continues to rub his mouth through the material, wet and scratching, and Jared loves every second.

By the time Jensen finally twists his fingers through the leg holes and pulls the material down, Jared’s fist is dripping spit and he’s whimpering low and desperate.

“You gonna come down my throat?” Jensen asks, popping off Jared’s dick to look up at him, looking pleased with how Jared can’t even catch his breath. “Wanna taste you, Jared. Wanna swallow down everything you have.”

“God – _Fuck!_ – Father – Jensen – please, just–” There are actual tears in Jared’s eyes until the priest finally ducks back down. It only takes a few bobs down Jensen’s perfect throat to have Jared coming, eyes squeezed shut as he spurts down the man’s throat, slumped back with only Jensen’s hands keeping him from sliding off the counter.

Jared brushes the tears away when he comes back to his senses, blinking stupidly at Jensen who’s fallen to the floor, lips shiny with Jared’s come, hands under his own robes, grunting as he fists himself. Jared doesn’t even have time to jump down before Jensen’s body jerks and he spills into his own hand, specs of come dotting inside his robe.

Slowly, because he’s too blissed out to do otherwise, Jared hops down and leans against Jensen on the floor. He kisses Jensen’s sweaty neck once, whispers, “Thank you, Father,” then grabs Jensen’s dirty hand and swipes his tongue up the palm and around the insides of his fingers, licking them all clean.

“You are the most tempting thing I have ever come across,” Jensen murmurs, but the accusation doesn’t carry much weight when he gathers Jared up into his lap and licks the taste of himself out of Jared’s young pink mouth.

✫✶✫✶✫✶✫✶

Jared’s breath is loud and echoed. He attempts to breathe softer, but that just makes his chest hurt, and he’s pretty sure his heartbeat is loud enough for the priest to hear anyway.

Jared’s father had gotten a call from the school last week, after he’d been caught in the boy’s restroom, kissing a boy from his chemistry class. Although Mr. Padalecki was a soft-spoken, gentle man, he was firm and unshakable in his faith, and he had had a long talk with Jared about his soul afterwards. He’d had Jared stop by the church on his way home from school to go to confession and arranged for Jared to be counseled by one of the priests once a week.

Jared’s honestly not sure how he feels about God, but he’s fifteen (weeks away from being sixteen) and he doesn’t have much of a say for a few more years. So he drops by the church at the scheduled time, nervous and unenthusiastic. Or he was until he meets the priest. He’s most beautiful man Jared had ever seen in his life. The formal starched shirt and pressed pants do nothing to hide the hard lines and beautiful curves on the man’s body, and somehow don’t detract from the light scattering of freckles and plush lips. Jared has to conscientiously work to not swallow his tongue at his first sight.

“Whenever you’re ready,” the priest gently prods from behind his desk. He doesn’t seem to notice Jared ogling, and Jared’s knee starts bouncing from nervous energy.

“My dad… wants me here,” he says in a soft mumble.

“Do you think you need to be here?” Father Ackles asks curiously.

Jared’s glad he picked a quiet time to come by, no line outside to make him anxious about taking up the priest’s time. Because this is difficult. “Yeah,” he says. “I guess so. I know it’s not… right. I’m not right.”

“Why do you think that?”

There’s a hole in the knee of Jared’s jeans that he can’t help picking at when he’s nervous, fingernails flicking at the soft denim. “I… kissed a boy,” Jared says in a whisper.

“Is that something you’ve done before?”

The tightness in Jared’s chest increases, and he squeezes his eyes shut. “No.” He takes a deep breath. “But I’ve wanted to for a long time. And… I think my dad knew that.”

“Have you had impure thoughts?”

Jared wonders how the voice seems to lack judgement despite being there to judge. It makes it easier to keep talking. “A lot,” he admits. “There’s this boy on my baseball team that I’ve known for a few years. He’s… beautiful. I think about him pushing me against the lockers sometimes, kissing me. I think about – um. Other things.”

Something crosses the priest’s face, some expression Jared’s unsure of, and he wonders if Father Ackles is disgusted. He’s not sure, however, doesn’t know the man well enough to know what the twitch of his lips mean or the arch in his brow as he nods and, voice still soothing, says, “It’s ok, Jared. You can tell me. What other things?”

Jared has to hold his breath, will the tears back. He doesn’t know why this gentle kindness is so much worse than the anger and revulsion he’d been expecting.

“I – I think about. About touching his skin, how warm it would be. And I want to – to kneel in front of him, put my mouth on his… his dick.” Jared closes his eyes and hurried stutters through the rest. “I know it’s wrong, I know it’s a s-sin. But I want to suck him off, I t-touch myself and think about it. I’m so sorry, I can’t seem to stop.”

“You are young, Jared,” the voice says, a judgement and understanding. Jared opens his eyes to see Father Ackles giving him a gentle smile. “It is difficult to fight against carnal urges. But you must learn. These thoughts come from the devil. You must be stronger and push them away.”

“How?” Jared says, helplessly.

“Focus on God. Redirect your thoughts to something pure and good.”

“I’ll try,” Jared replies, without any real confidence in himself.

***

It turns out, Jared doesn’t try that hard.

A couple sessions with Father Ackles only confirms how utterly gay he is. He’s quiet during the first month, head somewhere between guilty and rebellious as Father Ackles keeps going on about pushing down unclean thoughts, trying to focus on the good. Jared can only focus on Father Ackles’ mouth.

The priest isn’t unkind. He truly does care about Jared, Jared can tell, and there’s a certain sad plea in his eyes when he tells Jared that God can change him.

“What if I don’t want to change?” Jared says, warily. Father Ackles looks both frustrated and sad.

During the fifth session, Father Ackles decides it’s time to pray for Jared’s soul. Jared honestly doesn’t know what makes Father Ackles so committed to this. Jared’s made his unwilling participation fairly clear. He’d even confessed that he’d kissed his lab partner again, in an empty classroom during lunch. Father Ackles’ jaw went hard and disapproving when Jared had explained that despite the fact that he hasn’t found Eli very attractive, doesn’t want to date him or anything, he still likes kissing him, loved feeling Eli’ hard dick under him when Jared had slid on top of the boy while they hid under the teachers’ desk.

Sighing, Jared squirms in his seat while the priest places his hands on his head and invokes the name of the Father, asking Saint Thomas Aquinas to intercede on behalf of Jared to be guided by the light of Our Lord and find the strength to fight these urges. It’s both endearing and frustrating for Jared, because he can tell Father Ackles is truly upset, all because Jared kissed a boy, all because Father Ackles believes Jared is innately _wrong_ and _bad_.

It turns him resentful, and he can feel it building up as Father Ackles goes into a Hail Mary, tears pricking the corner of Jared’s eyes at being reminded that his entire family and church and everyone he grew up with thinks he’s a sinner.

Before Jared can think to stop himself, he twists around in his seat, pushes himself up and presses his mouth hard and firm over Father Ackles’, wanting to share whatever sin the man thinks Jared possesses. He feels the surprise and shock when the priest is forced to cut his prayer short, words sucked back up behind the man’s mouth as Jared dares to run his tongue inside.

Jared refuses to back away. He just throws himself harder at the man when Father Ackles tries to push him away, so it’s a good handful of seconds before Father Ackles can pry Jared’s hands off and shove him back so hard that Jared ends up on the floor, tailbone bruised and mouth tingling.

He tries to grab onto that anger, but it’s dissipated into nothing, and he hates himself as he feels tears slipping down his cheeks.

He can’t look up, has no idea what Father Ackles is thinking or doing, and he curls his knees up as he sobs, big hiccuping tears that he can’t stop no matter how much he wants to. And god, he wants to. He feels like such a child.

When he feels a soft hand on his shoulder, it just breaks Jared more. The priest’s beautiful face is looking down at him, softly concerned. Jared throws himself at the man, wrapping his arms around the back of Father Ackles’ neck, forcing him to the floor. Father Ackles’ lap is solid and warm, and Jared stains that perfectly starched shirt with his tears while the man’s arms wrap around him.

It feels like an eternity before the tears finally stop, although Jared squeezes his eyes shut and stays nuzzled into Father Ackles’ chest. He doesn’t want to leave that comfort, and he’s afraid that the moment he does, Father Ackles will condemn everything he’d just done, kick him out of the church, and make everything so much worse.

The hand on his back starts patting in little circles, soft and comforting. Jared quietly asks, “Are you going to tell my dad?” He can feel the low rumble against the side of his cheek when the priest answers.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Thank you.” One last shuddering breath escapes before Jared calms himself down, breathes deep. “Thank you, Father.”

“You… can’t do that again, though.”

Jared doesn’t answer, just puts his head back into Father Ackles’ chest and breathes in the scent of old stone church walls and wooded cologne.

***

Later that night, Jared stares at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he wants to do. He’s still a little embarrassed… but mostly, he’s just so tired of being told to repent for being himself. He doesn’t want Father Ackles to pray over him anymore; he doesn’t want to be told that he needs to be fixed and saved.

He just wants to be happy. Is that so wrong?

Sighing, he scrubs a hand over his face, still conflicted. Part of him still believes them all, just a tiny bit. Maybe he is wrong. Maybe he’s going to hell. Maybe he doesn’t care anymore. He’s exhausted from all the internal fighting.

He thinks back to Father Ackles’ surprise when he’s kissed him, and Jared chuckles. It was nice to get the man to shut up for once… and he’d been wondering how those lips would feel against his for so long. He wonders if the priest has ever kissed anyone before… he bets Father Ackles has always been handsome, there’s no way he hadn’t kissed anyone before going into the priesthood. But Jared smiles to himself, thinking he might have at least been the priest’s first male kiss.

It’s not a far jump for Jared to start thinking about doing more than kissing with the priest. His skin flushes, and he brushes a hand down to where he feels the most heat, letting his fingers slide slowly back and forth. Squashing the small voice that tells him he’s wrong, Jared lets himself focus on how beautiful Father Ackles is, and how much he’d love to peel off those clerical vestments, run his fingers across all that warm, freckled skin.

Everything with Eli so far had been with clothes on, but Jared desperately wants to get his mouth on Father Ackles’ chest, feel that hard skin and muscle under his mouth, brush his fingers over pink nipples.

Jared’s face gets red with shame and lust, and he slips his hand under his shorts. His dick’s so hard, and he squirms with overwhelming adrenaline and need. It’s not his first time doing this, and he crunches in to spit into his hand, making the slide easier as he squeezes his eyes shut, imagines Father Ackles’ tit in his mouth, imagines his own thighs parted open around the priest’s hips. His body rocks at the thought of being fucked hard and fast.

God, god, GOD.

Jared bites his other fist as he dick spurts into his hand, drips between his fingers and makes a mess inside his shorts. Dammit, he should have thought to grab a sock or something, he doesn’t want to risk his parents finding out from his bedsheets. Beside the bed are some tissues, and he grabs some to clean himself up, brain alternating between a dopamine high and low. He still feels a little guilty, but he’s not going to listen to that part of his brain. He can’t. He can’t imagine trying to pretend he’s anything else other than what he is. He can barely hold himself together as it is.

Once he’s wiped everything up, he nuzzles into his pillow, sleepily deciding that he’s not going to pretend with the priest either. Father Ackles can take him or leave him as he is.

***

Father Ackles is suddenly busy. Too busy, in fact, to fit Jared into his schedule for the next two weeks. Jared’s not sure what to think. The priest hasn’t excommunicated him, and from what Jared can tell, his dad doesn’t know what happened. Did the man just… give up on Jared?

Next to the church is a little house where Father Ackles lives, and Jared starts hanging around it, trying to catch a glimpse of the man who’s avoiding him. The priest is fairly busy, and Jared’s expected home by dinnertime, so there’s not a great window of opportunity. Eventually, he decides his only choice is to skip school, and he swings by the priest’s house on a Monday after morning mass. He catches the man smoking on his back porch.

Father Ackles looks like he’s about to run for a few seconds but apparently quickly changes his mind and leans back, taking a breath.

“Go ahead and have a seat, Jared.” He warily gestures towards the other chair on the porch.

“Thanks.” Jared gives the priest an unsteady smile. “Didn’t know you were a smoker.”

Father Ackles chuckles, shakes his head and sets the cigarette down on a small plate he’s got set out. “Not usually. Just when I’m stressed.”

“What do you have to be stressed out about?” Jared can hear the tinge of his own bitterness in his tone. “It’s not like your parents are trying to get their priest to conversion camp your gay ass.”

The priest sighs, looking pained and tired. Jared almost feels sorry for the man. That isn’t the way he wants things to go, however, and he reaches over to grab Father Ackles’ cigarette, grinning when the priest tries to grab it back but is too late.

Jared starts to put the still-lit cigarette to his lips but Father Ackles jumps to his feet and grabs at it again, so Jared has to move his hand fast to keep it out of reach.

“Jared,” Father Ackles says in a low, frustrated growl. It’s amusing to see the priest, usually so put-together, frazzled like this. Deciding that he’s stressed the priest enough, Jared gives up, holds the cigarette out.

When Father Ackles leans in to grab it from Jared’s fingers, Jared quickly slips into his space and kisses him, again, pushing as hard as he can in the few seconds he knows he has.

Firmly, Father Ackles grabs Jared’s shoulders and pushes him away, expression disapproving. “Jared, you know we can’t do this,” he says, jaw tight.

Smirking, Jared tries to nuzzle back in, but Father Ackles is strong, and keeps him at arm’s length. Jared thinks again about how he might be going to Hell, and if he is, he might as well just go all the way.

“Do you wanna know what I thought about last night?” Jared asks slyly, still struggling against Father Ackles’s hold.

Father Ackles eyes narrow. “Jared,” he says in a low, warning voice, but Jared continues anyway.

“You. And how good you’d feel inside of me. Bet you’re big too, bet you’d stretch my ass open so wide. Can you guess what I was doing while thinking about that?” Jared’s pulse is jackrabbiting so fast, his heart practically throwing itself against his ribs, but Jared refuses to give in to that fear, just smiles sweetly and pretends he really is this confident. Teasing the priest gives him something to focus on other than his own impending damnation.

A light flush starts spreading up Father Ackles’ neck. It surprises Jared, because he just wanted to push the priest, he didn’t expect… well. He doesn’t know if the heat is from embarrassment, or something else, but it gives Jared pause.

“I think it’s time you went home,” Father Ackles finally manages to say. Deciding that he’s done enough pushing for today, Jared complies, gives the priest a sweet smile and gets off his back porch.

***

Every Wednesday at dinner, Jared’s dad asks him about his counseling session. Apparently Father Ackles hadn’t told Jared’s dad how busy he’d been, and Jared wasn’t going to correct that.

“Fine,” Jared says, tone carefully light and even. He can feel his parents eyes on him, sharp and worried. He smiles, trying to look soft and contrite. “Father Ackles prayed with me again today, and I think… it’s helping. A little. It’s been easier to, um, not think those thoughts as much.”

“We’re proud of you, honey,” Jared’s mom says, looking relieved. Jared’s dad nods along and doesn’t ask anymore questions that night.

***

Through trial and error, Jared finds the best time to visit Father Ackles is on the priest’s day off, Tuesday, after school. Sometimes the priest goes fishing, but most often he just stays at home, enjoying a break from responsibility.

Jared never knocks. Instead, he heads to the back porch to sit and smoke from a pack of cigarettes that Jared had slipped into his backpack after Father Ackles had left them on the back porch table one afternoon.

Almost as soon as the match is lit, Father Ackles comes storming out to try to snatch the cigarette from Jared’s mouth. Jared always laughs and fights back, sometimes managing to slip the cigarette into his pocket and sometimes losing it to Father Ackles.

Eventually, Father Ackles warily invited Jared inside. Somehow, it turns into Jared doing his homework on the couch while Father Ackles turns on an honest-to-god record player and goes over paperwork or studies his scripture or just reads a book. The music varies somewhere between classic rock, old country, and various smooth alternative rock. Sometimes Jared brings over a ball and throws it over to Father Ackles, checking his reflexes. Father Ackles always knows when it’s coming his way, barely looking up before putting his hand up to catch the tennis ball.

It’s kinda sexy, to be honest.

One Tuesday, Jared asks to use the bathroom but instead wanders into the priest’s bedroom, poking around and refusing to feel guilty over it. He wants to know all about the priest and if his life really is as simple and pure as it seems.

Underneath Father Ackles’ bed, wedged far in, Jared discovers a small wooden box, filled with pictures.

Most of them have Father Ackles in them, obviously younger, maybe in his mid-twenties. He’s at the beach, swim trunks on, arm slung around a young, slim man with sandy blonde hair and golden brown eyes. Jared gets almost halfway through the stack before he finds shots of them kissing and nuzzling, in an obviously romantic way, and Jared almost chokes on his own tongue. The last few look like they’re taken in a bedroom, close-ups of shoulders and chests. Jensen must be taking most of the shots because they’re almost exclusively of the other young man: lying across a bed, looking up at Father Ackles through half-lidded lashes, wearing nothing but a pair of black silk underwear.

Jared only gets a few minutes to peruse before Father Ackles walks in and finds him sitting on the bedroom floor with pictures spread around him.

“Jared?? What - ??” The man jumps into a panic, starts scooping pictures up, cramming them back into the box and shoving everything under the bed. The extreme reaction is almost comical. Jared grins and attempts to say something teasing, but Father Ackles grabs him by the arm and starts dragging him out the bedroom, through the living room, and to the front door. Before Jared can even ask why, he’s shoved outside on the front porch and whirls around just in time for the door to get slammed in his face.

He knows better than to try to go back inside, and he pouts for a second, knowing it was wrong for him to pry, but filled with too many questions to care much about the invasion of privacy. When Father Ackles doesn’t come back, Jared sighs and heads home.

***

Unable to wait a week, Jared slips out after dinner the next day, making excuses to his parents about needing to study for an important test and maybe turning in early in case they come up to check on him. It’s a toss-up if they’ll notice - Jared’s never violated curfew before, and they don’t have any reason to be suspicious.

He heads over to Father Ackles’ house where he uses the spare key from under the potted plant to let himself in.

Father Ackles is sitting in his arm chair with a bible in his hands. He doesn’t seem surprised to see Jared, although he does look stressed.

“I’d say ‘come in’ but it looks like you’ve helped yourself,” Father Ackles says with wary sarcasm. Putting the scriptures to the side, the priest motions for Jared to come closer. “Not that I owe you an explanation but… I do have some things I want you to understand.”

Jared wanders over, opting to lean against the side of Father Ackles’ chair despite the empty couch nearby.

“Like what?” he asks quietly.

A soft sigh slips from Father Ackles. “I’ve had to work through the same… sinful urges as you, Jared.”

Tentatively, Jared comments, “You looked happy, Father.”

“I thought I was…” Father Ackles answered thoughtfully. “Satan tricks us that way. So many things feel good in the moment.”

“What was his name?”

“Justin.”

“Did you love him?”

“ _Jared_.” Father Ackles’ voice is annoyed, probably with Jared’s constant interrupting, but then he sighs again and shrugs. “I’ve had a long time to consider that question and… yes. I loved him. Loving someone is never a waste or a mistake. Even someone who breaks your heart and leaves you. That pain made me turn back to God and repent. So I don’t regret it.”

“Father.” Jared’s voice is very very soft. He waits for Father Ackles’ head to turn towards him inquisitively. “Can I be… something you don’t regret.” He slips down the arm of the chair and into Father Ackles’ lap. The priest’s head turns away so Jared nuzzles against his chest, presses his lips to the man’s throat, and feels scruff tickle his mouth.

He expects Father Ackles to shove him off his lap any second, but the man stays still while Jared’s mouth explores rough facial hair and smooth collar bone. Jared’s slim arms slide around Father Ackles’ shoulders, and he starts making soft, needy huffs against freckled skin.

“Please,” he begs quietly. “I won’t do anything with anyone else. Just you. If you let me. Please.”

The priest’s hands come up to cup Jared’s face and push it away while he sighs out a long, sad, “ _Jared_.” Jared can feel Father Ackles’ fingers pressing into his jaw, gently moving back and forth.

“Please?” He tries one more time, not even having to fake the tears that spring to his eyes.

Slowly, Father Ackles leans forward, warm breath exhaling over Jared’s slightly parted mouth, and he wants this so damn much. It’s a surprise, but a welcome one, when Father Ackles’ lips press soft and slow against Jared’s mouth. Warm goosebumps shiver up his torso and arms as Jared returns the kiss, careful not to get too eager too fast.

When it ends, Jared tucks himself against Father Ackles’ chest, listening to the man’s heartbeat for a few minutes until he’s gently nudged off and told to go home before his parents worry.

Father Ackles walks Jared to the doorway, and Jared pushes himself to his toes, tilts his face up, and parts his lips hopefully.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Father Ackles leans down to brush their mouths together, quick but warm, then tells Jared to be safe and sends him home.

***

It’s a new obsession, kissing Father Ackles and thinking about kissing him. Jared can barely pay attention in school or at home, forgets to finish homework and do chores, although Father Ackles’ first question when Jared shows up on his doorstep is if he’s got schoolwork.

They don’t talk about it anymore. Jared knows that if Father Ackles is at his desk, he’s got work to do and expects Jared to finish his own work as well, but the moment the priest sits in his armchair, Jared slips into his lap and kisses the man until his mouth starts buzzing. He’s allowed to slip his hand under Father Ackles’ shirt, explore muscles shapes and warm skin. But the moment his fingers try to explore lower, tease along the top hem of the man’s pants (with the hope to eventually find the heat further below), Father Ackles grabs Jared’s hand and won’t let go for a good few minutes. So Jared can’t push. Not without risking losing everything.

Sometimes Jared starts squirming while they kiss, too caught up in how good it feels to have Father Ackles mouthing along his jaw and his own hands pressing into the man’s firm chest. It’s not his fault when his body takes that pleasure and lets it pool low in his gut until it drips down to his groin.

Probably realizing that he can’t send Jared home to his parents with an erection, Father Ackles ends their make-out session by announcing that he’s going to take a shower, and Jared’s welcome to let himself out. A box of tissues is conveniently left on the table next to the armchair.

One day Jared’s gone from 0 to 60 way too early. Barely five minutes into their makeout session, he starts whimpering against Father Ackles’ mouth, almost in tears, hips rocking hard as he struggles in vain to find relief. Somehow it’s all enough to make the man take pity on him, and Jared gasps as he feels a large hand reach down to unzip him and smoothly pull his insanely-hard dick out. It’s almost instantaneous, Jared coming hot and hard into Father Ackles’ hand, shouting into the man’s shoulder at how painfully good that release feels. It takes a few minutes for the shudders to stop, Jared’s body going limp while he mouth sucks a bruise into the priest’s collarbone. Father Ackles’ other hand rubs at Jared’s back soothingly, and when Jared pulls back to take a breath, Father Ackles starts kissing at the tears Jared didn’t realize were slipping down his cheeks.

“Fuck,” Father Ackles says quietly. “I’m so fucked. I never stood a chance.”

The priest stands up, gently drops Jared in the armchair, and announces that he’s going to take a shower. Jared blushes when he realizes for the first time what that means. His eyes flick down to the bulge in Father Ackles’ crotch, and the man avoids Jared’s eyes as he turns to head to the bathroom.

God, Jared’s never come so hard in his life, and he’s still coming down from the high. He takes his time leaving, curling up in the armchair and trying to figure out how to get the priest to fuck him.

Jared feels like he’s gotten a good read on the priest’s thinking. The man’s probably been rationalizing what they’ve been doing for weeks now, telling himself that he’s saving Jared’s soul by letting him work out these urges now, and better to do it with the priest than with another boy at school, turning one sin into two. That rationalization is going to start wearing thin, but not fast enough for Jared.

He wants to get shoved down and fucked hard. He thinks about it before bed every night, slipping vaseline-coated fingers inside himself, working himself open, trying to open himself up wider and wider every day.

He’s ready. He just needs to figure out how to break the priest of the last few threads of resolve.

***

An idea comes quickly.

Using a pre-paid credit card, Jared buys a few things off the internet and has them sent to a friend’s house whose parents work late and are a lot less involved in their child’s life.

He only has to wait a few days after everything arrives. His parents have a standing game-night with a few other people in their church, and it’s early enough that Jared can slip into Father Ackles’ house before the priest’s church duties are done for the day.

He takes a peek at the pictures again while he waits. He has to hunt for them - they’ve been set onto the top shelf in the hallway closet. He thinks he likes Father Ackles better as he is now: older, a bit more worn around the edges. The younger version looks too vulnerable.

A little while later, Jared hears the door open and shut, and he carefully tucks the pictures away and puts the box under the bed. Swallowing hard, Jared closes his eyes and tries to pull up every bit of confidence he can as he walks over to the bedroom door to peer out into the main room.

Father Ackles is - thankfully - alone, and he’s putting a few things on the kitchen table. When Jared makes a small noise, the man looks up and immediately freezes, one hand still on his Bible when he sees Jared standing in the doorway.

Jared’s clothes are folded neatly on a chair in Father Ackles’ bedroom, and the only thing he’s got on are a pair of satin pink panties with a sweet little bow on the back. He’d thought about getting a black pair to match the ones on Justin that Father Ackles had obviously liked, but Jared figured he’d rather go with his own personal preferences. And something about the shiny pink made Jared feel extra slutty in the most delicious way.

“What are you wearing?” the priests asks quietly, looking a little shell-shocked.

Jared smiles in a sweet way that he knows makes his dimples pop out. “Do you like it?” he asks, looking up at Father Ackles through his lashes. “I’ve been waiting for over a week to show you these.” When the man doesn’t answer, Jared lets his voice go quiet and vulnerable as he asks, “Do they look good on me?”

“They look perfect,” Father Ackles finally replies, somewhat dizzily. Since the priest isn’t moving from his spot at the table, Jared goes to him.

Gently, he takes Father Ackles’ hand off the Bible and laces their fingers together, smirking at how nervous the man seems. Then he guides that hand to press into Jared’s naked stomach, rubbing circles while Jared slips his entire body closer to the priest’s.

“ _You’re_ perfect,” Jared insists. He pushes Father Ackles’ hand further back, slipping it down and guiding it to feel down, down his ass, right between his cheeks where something hard is nestled there.

The priest’s eyes go wide as he feels what it is. “Jared, are you wearing a… buttplug?”

“I’ve been fingering myself for months now,” Jared says as he pushes himself to his toes, nuzzling up to Father Ackles’s ear so he can breathily add, “Training myself to take that big cock of yours.” His hand slides across the man’s hips then slips low, cupping the heat, squeezing a little, and he swears he can hear the crack of Father Ackles’ resistance breaking.

Both the priest’s hands grab Jared around the hips, push him until his back hits the wall and then a mouth covers his, hungry and wet.

“This what you wanted, baby?” Father Ackles asks against Jared’s mouth, hands everywhere. “This what you’ve been thinking about?” It’s overwhelming, having the priest everywhere, perked-up dick poking into Jared’s stomach, but Jared still wants more.

“Yes,” Jared answers, hanging on for dear life. “God, please, yes.” He hooks a leg around Father Ackles, trying to get them even closer, and the priest moves Jared’s hands to wrap behind his neck before grabbing the boy by the hips and picking him up.

“You taste so soft,” Father Ackles marvels, mouthing across Jared’s chest, stopping to suck at a small pink tit. Jared makes a sharp cry as he throws his head back. He can feel the chuckle reverberate from Father Ackles’ mouth to Jared’s chest.

Jared thinks Father Ackles would happily spend hours tasting every inch, but Jared’s impatient and starts whining and begging to get fucked. He doesn’t think he can last very long at all.

Thankfully, the priest soothes Jared right away, kisses his mouth and tells him that he’s gonna take care of Jared, _shh baby, gonna give you everything you want, gonna open you up and do this right, make you feel so good_.

Father Ackles shoves Jared on the bed, belly-down, ass sticking out, panties and buttplug thrown on the floor, and Jared feels so deliciously slutty as Father Ackles kicks his legs wide open and sticks his tongue straight down Jared’s ass. Jared loves how it feels - loves it even more that it’s Father Ackles making him feel this way.

Jared’s a boneless mess by the time Father Ackles is finished using his mouth and fingers inside Jared. The man kisses up Jared’s back, one arm slipping around Jared’s hips and holding him tight while Father Ackles hips grind until his dick presses just inside.

Jared whimpers and ducks his head down, feels the heat rush to his head as he breathes deep and slow.

“That’s a good boy,” Father Ackles praises, stopping to give Jared a chance to acclimate before pressing inside more. Teeth nip at the back of Jared’s neck followed by a soothing tongue. In-between bites, Father Ackles keeps calling Jared a “good boy” and praises how well he’s doing, how beautiful he is just like this.

When the priest finally bottoms out, all the air rushes from Jared’s lungs in a thick whoosh.

“How do you feel, baby?” Father Ackles asks, one arm still holding tight.

Jared has to take a slow gulp of breath to answer. “Full.” His eyes flutter back. “So full.”

“Do you like it?”

Jared starts to answer, but a movement from Father Ackles makes him whine sharply. “I… yeah.”

A soft kiss is pressed to his neck. “Can I fuck you, baby? Think you can handle that?”

“ _God_!” Jared all-but-shouts out. “Please. _Please_. Fuck me. Want it so fucking bad. I’m ready.”

The priest fucks like an animal - hard, relentless, not stopping - and Jared loves it. He loves it best on his stomach with Father Ackles right on top, one arm grabbing Jared from underneath and the other keeping them balanced while his hips grind and fuck.

In the end, though, Father Ackles insists on flipping Jared over, gathering him up in his lap, and pistoning the last few hard fucks into Jared’s ass. Father Ackles comes like that, Jared wrapped tight in his arms as he pants hotly into Jared’s hair, grunting low as he fills Jared up.

Once his dick is emptied, Father Ackles pants out a last, hard breath before falling on his side and taking Jared with him. Kissing Jared’s shoulder, Father Ackles murmurs, “Touch yourself, baby. Show me how much you loved it. Make yourself come for me.”

Jared’s so close anyway, and when the priest reaches down to slip a finger in Jared’s well-fucked, sloppy hole, Jared’s _done_. With his dick in his hand, Jared screams at the ceiling, barely registering the hand tenderly brushing sweat-soaked bangs away from his face, continuing to soothe and pet while Jared comes down from that surge of dopamine and serotonin.

When Jared’s breathing starts to slow, Father Ackles gathers Jared’s lax body up into his chest, rubbing his back and kissing the sides of his temples.

“Father Ackles,” Jared says quietly, just to say it aloud. The man exhales through his nose in a small, wry chuckle.

“I think you should call me ‘Jensen’ now, don’t you think, sweetheart?”

“Mmm. Okay. Jensen,” Jared agrees easily, mind a little sleepy. He makes the priest check the clock, and they’ve got a little bit of time before Jared’s gotta get home, so he snuggles back into Jensen’s chest, so happy at this moment that he can barely stand it.

***

Jared finds every excuse he can to slip off to Father Ackles’ house. He mostly swings by on Tuesdays after school and tells his parents that he’s joined the chess team which just happens to meet on that same time and day.

The priest fucks him every time; eats him out until Jared’s a crying, whimpering mess then presses his dick inside and fucks like it’s the end of the world. Jared stays as long as he possibly can, cuddled up in Jensen’s bed for sleepy kisses or sitting at Jensen’s table while the priest serves him scrambled eggs and toast. When their time runs shorts, Father Ackles helps Jared slip back on one of his pairs of silk panties he reserves just for Tuesdays, kisses his lips, and sends Jared home with a belly full of priest come.

By the time summer arrives just a few weeks later, Jared’s parents have dropped their suspicions. It helps that Jared’s stopped making out with boys at school in empty classrooms. Jared’s father offers to cancel Jared’s counseling sessions with the priest, but Jared sweetly tells his father that he’s enjoying them, and that he might stop by the church more often to volunteer his time. Jared’s mother looks so proud, and she hugs Jared extra-tight before they send him off to baseball camp.

It’s difficult to go a month without getting fucked, but Jared manages. It helps that he really likes baseball, although he still ends up jacking off every night - usually several times - until his dick hurts.

The morning he gets back, Jared goes by the church just as morning mass is over. He takes a seat in the pews, waiting for Jensen to notice him. The priest had been very clear about not wanting to do anything sexual in this holy space, but Jared thinks he can get the man to re-think that. Especially since it’s been weeks since they’ve fucked or even seen each other.

He’s right. It’s not even that hard, really - which Jared shouldn’t be surprised by at this point. Breaking through Father Ackles’ reservations has been like a game of Dominos: all it took was knocking over one for them all to come tumbling down in succession.

The real challenge comes at the next Sunday mass. Jared’s in his nice Sunday suit, flanked by his beaming parents who think they’ve managed to successfully turn their sinful child back to the light of the church. Jared’s not going to be the one to tell them that he’s just found a different being to worship.

At communion, Jared stares hard at Jensen, trying to get him to glance up, but the priest stays focused on his duties, blesses the body of Christ and brings it down to the congregation so that everyone can partake. Technically, Jared knows that, as a sinner, he shouldn’t be swallowing what is sacred, but he doesn’t care.

When it’s his turn, Jared bows to the priest then steps up, mouth open. He can see Father Ackles’ hand shaking just a bit as the priest slips the cracker into Jared’s open mouth, and then quickly - before Jensen can react - Jared kisses the tips of the priest’s fingers. Jensen’s green eyes go wide, but he doesn’t say a word, and Jared turns to make the sign of the cross and move on.

Kneeling next to his mother, Jared bows his head to pray. He wonders what she would think if she knew what Jared was praying for: to get fucked hard in the priest’s office; to worship everything past Jensen’s fingertips; to wash down the body and blood with Father Ackles’ warm come.

Father Ackles’ body is the only one Jared wants in his mouth.

Sundays are long, and the priest has too many duties to make it easy to find time for Jared. But there’s a sliver of time at lunch, when the priest smiles beatifically at Jared’s parents and tells them that Jared’s offered to stay late and clean up and can he send the boy home when he’s done?

“Of course, Father,” Jared’s mother says, so proud of her pure, chaste son who has found his way back to the Lord.

Five minutes later, Jared’s on his knees in the priest’s office, mouth open and Father Ackles’ dick shoved down his throat. Jared’s gotten good at this, knows how to breathe and relax his throat, although his eyes still tear up a bit when Jensen shoves down extra-deep.

After Jensen’s dick is nice and hard, he bends Jared over the side of his arm chair, eats Jared out until he’s crying and begging for cock, and then sweetly obliges the young boy’s cries.

Jensen growls low in Jared’s ear every time his hips fuck foward, and Jared grabs Jensen’s hand, squeezes with every thrust because it’s been too long since he’s been properly fucked.

“Miss me, baby? You kiss anyone else while you were gone?” Jensen asks, voice rough, as he gets closer to coming. “Suck anyone else while you were gone? Let anyone fuck you like this?”

Jared shakes his head, brushes the tears out of his eyes and whines for more.

“Just wanted you. Missed you so bad,” Jared shakily answers through short hiccups. When Jensen seems close, Jared begs the priest to sit in the chair and let Jared climb on top.

He sinks down with a happy sigh. Just as Jared starts to bounce in Father Ackles’ lap, the priest instead grabs Jared’s hips, holding him still so Jensen can fuck up hard and fast, skin slapping loudly until the priest fucks in one last time, deep and wet while filling Jared up.

Jared’s already got a hand on himself, times it so he finishes just after Jensen, spitting come all over his own stomach while Father Ackles kisses beads of sweat off Jared’s chest and calls him “so fucking beautiful.” When Jensen starts to pull out, Jared wraps his arms around Jensen and refuses to let go.

“Please,” he says through thick, panting breath. “I want you to stay in. Just for a little while, like this.”

Jensen chuckles fondly, bushes the bangs out of Jared’s eyes and kisses his forehead, like a gentle, holy benediction.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Father Ackles says indulgently with a soft smile. “Anything you want.”

Happily, Jared nuzzles into Jensen’s chest, wanting to stay here forever. He may not have found religion, but he’s found something worth worshipping.


End file.
